Yes, it is difficult for members of churches to get help with same sex infidelity problems. Many people have reached out to me about that problem. Some churches act as if the problem does not exist. It is really sad that gay, and bisexual spouses have support groups to help them when they are 'discovered' or finally 'emerge' from the closet, but the straight spouses who are 'blindsided' with this information or revelation, has no support.
It is really difficult when someone who has been a lifelong christian, calls with such a dilema and there is no church support group that you can point them to. That is why my daughter and I formed South Florida Connects, a faith based, non profit, to help people in such dire situations. The need for information, affirmation, validation, empowerment, and support is greatest among members of some church congregations, who are at a lost for words when they find themselves in this kind of relationship with all the deception.
Ministers, Pastors, and lay preachers are sometimes not equipped to provide the level of support that some of their members require. From the information we have received, some spiritual leaders are very ignorant of straight spouse issues. Just like how many were ill equipped to assist members suffering from domestic violence and abuse, the same situation keeps coming up with straight spouses.
Straight spouses in the church do not need to feel segregated or made to believe they are responsible for their gay spouse's spiritual indiscretions. Straight spouses need support to help keep them strong during this difficult journey, of struggling to fix a broken marriage, then finding out that you can't, because your spouse is gay.
Our mission is to help straight spouses, Christians and otherwise, their families and friends, understand the dynamics of straight spouse awareness. We believe that empowerment through information, validation and affirmation, can help straight spouses deal with their difficult mixed orientation marriages.
Our website www.southfloridaconnects.com aims to provide information for education, empowerment and spiritual guidance, when dealing with the matter of same sex infidelity...in secrecy. This is whether you are a member of a church congregation or not. Education, empowerment and support is the key, for distraught men and women, and we hope to offer that via this website.
We are hoping to start a peer support group for affected spouses in the near future. Men and women who find themselves in a marriage with a bisexual or gay spouse need support, just like their gay or bisexual spouse is getting support from gay or bisexual support groups. If they are being empowered, then straight spouses need to be empowered to help themselves cope also.
At South Florida Connects we aim to remain candid and non-judgemental as we strengthen those who need help, with whatever they require during this difficult period. We do not promise to always be politically correct, because that in itself can be hypocritical, which we are not. Aynone who is interested in becoming part of a local straight spouse peer support group for christians and non christians, can contact us through the website or at firstname.lastname@example.org
You are not alone...We want to help as much as you will let us.