The Naked Truth

Let's be real.  When a spouse finds out that they are being deceived, they usually want to end the relationship.  It is a know fact that mixed orientation marriages fare less well when same sex infidelity is suspected, or confirmed.  Even when the gay spouse confess and admit to infidelity in the past or ongoing, most of those marriages end in divorce.  

The reality is that people do get divorce and since they do, we want to provide some resources to help those who choose to go that route.  Not every marriage can be saved, even though we are not advocating that a straight spouse remain in a mixed orientation marriage.  Many people for one reason or another will want a divorce, and historically, a divorce from a gay spouse can sometimes be very traumatic.  

We want you to have resources to help you get through it.  It is ultimately up to you, how you handle your divorce and the ensuing emotions that go along with it.  We just want to help equip you more while you go through this difficult time.

Dealing With The Aftermath Of Betrayal 

Betrayal can be anything: infidelity, incest, emotional and physical abuse, telling a lie, secretly overspending or being hurt by a friend.  

I recently received many emails asking me: "How do I move on with my life?"  
A simple answer can be  - forgiveness is the key.  

Forgiveness means:
I am no longer willing to compromise my happiness or my life.
I no longer hold grudges or harbor resentments.
I release myself from any shame and guilt. 
I am in control of my life.
I live in peace with what has already happened.  

Forgiveness does NOT mean:
You agree with the actions or behavior. 
You trust him or her just because you forgive them.
You are letting him or her off the hook.
The person does not need to pay the consequences for their actions. 
You have to talk to the other person.
Forgiveness is about YOU, about your inner peace, about your life. 
Release the person or event, and release yourself. 
Forgiveness is a choice. 

Try this simple and effective exercise: 
Recall what and/or who you need to forgive. Write and say out loud at least ten times "I release and forgive _______________ (be specific) for any pain or damage I experienced." You may be saying this through gritted teeth or tears. Do it anyway, just get started. 

Focus on the feeling of forgiveness and releasing yourself from the past. Repeat as often as necessary. Every time you do this exercise you move forward in your forgiveness journey.
   
Remember, forgiveness is a process and every step you take brings you closer to finding your true freedom and inner peace. Forgiveness is for YOUR benefit, NOT for the benefit of the person who wronged you. Are you surprised? Why do you think it feels so much better, like a load is lifted from you, after you truly forgives someone. 
Yes, when you truly forgive someone, you no longer carry the burden of their wrong.  It's all on them now. You don't need their burden especially from selfish, uncaring people who may not even be aware of how much they have hurt you. 

Free yourself...forgiveness is the key.


With support for you in your journey, 

The 10 Commandments of Marriage

Good marriages don’t just happen.  It is not just because you married the right person and got lucky.  Good marriages are built on more than passion.  They are built on principle. 

In the Scriptures, we find the best guidelines and principles for a healthy marriage.  God’s words and God’s principles are never ever outdated…never!  They are just as applicable today as they were to ancient Jews living in Israel. 

I want to point us to principles God has given us in a place you might not think was intended for marriage.  That place is the Ten Commandments, found in Exodus 20.

Let me give you those Ten Commandments.  What I would like you to do is spend time reading these carefully, and then take time to pray over each one.  Ask God to begin to open your heart to see how these commands could be looked at as principles for marriage.  I had a friend who challenged me to do the same, and I was amazed at what I discovered.