Each person’s recovery experience is unique, and there is no guarantee on how much time it will take until you feel whole again. Although you cannot be certain about the date, you can be certain about the healing, and in order to heal, you must take some specific steps. The first step, as we have said before, is to point yourself in the right direction. Second, make a commitment to moving forward. Third, acknowledge that what you are experiencing is normal. The fourth step is to understand that you must go through the recovery process.
“Let the pain run its course,” says Rob Eagar. “As humans we are so focused on wanting to feel good all the time. Then when hurt and pain come into our lives, we do anything to get rid of it. Understand that it is going to hurt for a while. Having that realization helped me to face my pain and to be able to say, ‘Okay, this is how it’s going to be.’”
An important part of your healing is based on your understanding that recovery is a process, and it is a process you must go through, despite the pain.
“Give me understanding that I may live” (Psalm 119:144).
Lord, I did not choose this pain, and I am so tired of it. Help me to understand that there are no shortcuts in straight spouse recovery. Help me realize that I must walk this journey of healing no matter how long it takes. Amen.