What Do Women Want? 
by Doug Rosenau

Husbands desire to be great lovers with a truly skillful and passionate sex life. What happens that
so  many men fall short of this grand goal? Here are two of the most common skill  deficits that sabotage these lofty dreams: 
(1) Men don't truly understand women;  and 
(2) Men don't realize that they don't truly understand women. These seven keys will unlock passion in your marriage. 

Humbly and wisely step back and take a quick journey through Female 101. No magic buttons exist that will instantly turn your wife on and transform your sex life. However, these seven keys can have amazing results, if you are willing to get into your wife's reality and quit believing she will ever think or behave or feel like you. 

1. Women are much more complex sexually than men.
Physically, men respond very well to their wives' Plan A: Show up and initiate physical loveplay. But to make love to your wife, you need Plans A, B, C, D and E.

Who Is a Straight Spouse:  
You are a straight spouse if you are heterosexual, and is in a relationship with a LGBT person. (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender). You may not know it yet, or you are aware of it, and is seeking answers to the many questions that you may have.  Even if you are already out of the relationship, or separated or divorced, you are a straight spouse.  Straight spouses come from every socio economic background, race, religion, cultural identity, ethnicity, educational background, sex, and age.  

Welcome to our Encouragement Blog... We want to educate you while we encourage you, and help you keep on, keeping on. Everything is possible with God. YOU are not alone!

ENCOURAGEMENT

Things may be really bad for you right now, but all is not lost.
There is still hope that you will climb out of this,
and soar higher than you ever imagined.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV: 
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

How  Pornography Kills Love 
Laurie Hall 

Dear  Laurie,
I’m grieving the loss of my young womanhood and the countless nights I went to bed wounded in heart and frustrated sexually. It’s hard to look  at my face in mid-life and wonder how my husband rejected me when I was at my  best—I was really pretty.

I went through the stages you did. I was obedient, submitting even over tiny issues. I ministered to his needs and 
enjoyed it, even when he was oblivious to mine. For years, I’ve suffered from exhaustion—afraid that if I went to bed before my husband, I’d be neglecting his  sexual or emotional needs. In the process, I was punished by his lack of involvement in our home and our children’s lives. Worse, he’d spend days picking at me until I exploded. Looking back, I realize that I was so hungry for an emotional connection with him that I was willing to get it through anger if that was the only way he would hear me. 

 A Chip On The Shoulder Weighs A Ton

 Forgiveness is essential for good human relationships. You cannot give a hug with your arms folded.

Our forgiveness for others assures us of God's forgiveness for us. In Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) Jesus said, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." The weight of unforgiveness greatly drags a person down. It is a tremendous load to carry in the race we're called to run.

When faced with the need to forgive and forget, never make the excuse, "But no one knows what that person did to me!" That may be true, but do you know what unforgiveness will do to you?

What really matters is what happens in us, not to us.

Unforgiveness leads to great bitterness, which is a deadly misuse of the creative flow from above. Great amounts of brain power are used up when you ponder a negative situation and plot how to get even. This kind of thinking is totally unproductive. People who burn bridges will be isolated and alone and will deal with neutrals and enemies the rest of their lives. That's why we should build bridges, not burn them. Vengeance is a poor traveling companion. Getting even always causes imbalance and unhappiness.

Never underestimate the power of forgiveness to free you to fulfill your calling. Forgiveness is the one power you have over a person who slanders or criticizes you. The farther you walk in forgiveness, the greater the distance you put between yourself and the negative situation.

Forgiveness gives you a spring in your spiritual walk and a second wind in the race of life.

-John Mason, from the book An Enemy Called Average

Healthy Parenting and Partnering
 
"But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of
his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."  1 Timothy 5:8 (NASB).

I read recently about a man who said, "I failed my son when he needed me most. I was under a great strain from a workload I seemed unable to escape. A gulf came between me and my son, and when I recognized it, it was too late. I have never been able to regain communication. I failed God as well as my
son."

In our dreadfully materialistic culture in the Western world, far too many parents (who are on the obsessive merry-go-round of what the secular world calls success) try to buy off their kids with endless things, and/or get them involved in endless activities so they don't have to spend time with them.

In some of America's most affluent class, madness reigns. Super wealthy parents can give their kids "an 'Atherton Castle' [that] comes with a two-story, seven-foot-square 'fort,' and a ten-foot bridge that connects to another five-level fort with a 'crazy bar' climb—all for only $54,600. If that price seems steep, there's a 'pirate's haunt' for only $35,000."  2.  There's far higher priced models too.

We, including our children, were created for relationships with each other—not with things. We all need to be bonded to people, without which we live together alone apart and consequently suffer from emotional malnutrition and die a little every day.

What kid needs any gift—be it large or small—without the loving emotional connection to his mom and dad? More than anything else our kids need our presence, to be with them, listen to them, be kind to them, care about them, help them, and communicate to them through word and deed that we truly love
them. If a child doesn't feel loved, he/she is heading for major problems somewhere down the road—and it may be just around the corner.

And by the way, our spouses have exactly the same need. I have a friend from back home who, when her husband was climbing the ladder of success, used to say, "My husband gives me everything I want … except himself." Needless to say their marriage failed.

When we try to pay off our kids with things and our wives with expensive jewelry and the like, we wonder why our kids get into serious trouble and our spouses have emotional or physical breakdowns and/or get involved in an affair. I had another friend who, when going through chemotherapy, said, "I know why I have cancer. I'm dying of loneliness in my marriage."

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to love my spouse and my children as you love me, and help me to make them, as well as my relationship to you, my number one priority in life. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."


2.  Quoted on Breakpoint with Chuck
Colson, Feb 25, 2005.

NOTHING CAN STOP MY HAND  

 A WORD FROM THE LORD TO BUILD UP, ENCOURAGE, AND COMFORT YOU.

Do not doubt in your heart or in your mind. Do not waver in your faith, nor in the things I have said unto you. I have not given you Myself, for you to now walk off or to quit so easily. It is not an option to serve Me, but a requirement to walk in all of My Ways.

Think not that you are alone. But know that I have risen up within you and I will also accomplish through you all that I have said. Nothing is impossible for Me or with Me. I am not given to any variance of shadow or wavering, but I AM totally Faithful and True. It is not time to walk in the shadows, but in the fullness of My Light.

Make no mistake, and do not turn aside. But stand. Do nothing apart from My Council, and My Will. There is nothing that can stop My Hand concerning you. It is set, according to My Will, and it will be established. Take your eyes off of the situation and maintain them straight upon Me.

You cannot fail if you trust in Me. But if you continue to walk in indecision and by your own strength, you will be diverted. For you are given over to double mindedness and struggle with fear. Stop now. Speak My Word and stand. Never give place to anything that I haven't spoken to you or shown you. But bring all things to me in prayer and release them.

Stop holding things to your abilities, and learn to trust in Mine. Will you continue to strive with Me? No, you must yield!

Gather your thoughts now, and set a straight path for your feet. Walk according to My Word and see those walls fall that you have erected by your wavering. It is not My Will that you be resisted by the things that you have allowed to be built. But it is My Will that you walk with Me.

Nothing can stop My Hand concerning you, and it is time to let Me bring it all together and forth. Let go. Move forth and be free. It is time to see My Salvation. It is time to see the Victory.

It is time to see My Hand establish all things and bring Liberty .

For My Hand is upon you, and with you.

Remember this: There is nothing that you will face today that the Lord can't bring you through. Thank God for what you have, Trust God for what you need .

 Financial Fitness: Generosity Reaps Generosity
by Rick Warren

The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller. Proverbs 11:24 (Msg) If I sow generosity, it's going to come back to me, and I'm going to reap generosity.

Every farmer knows this. A farmer has sacks of seed in his barn and he looks at his empty field. He doesn't complain, "There's no crop! I wish there was a crop!" He just goes out and starts planting seed. When you have a need, plant a seed. 

It seems illogical that when I have a need, I should give.

Why did God set it up this way? Because God is a giver. He is the most generous giver in the universe, and God wants you to learn to be like him. He wants to build character in you.

The Bible says, “Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce” (Proverbs 3:9 NLT). This is the principle of tithing. It's the principle that says every time I make $100 -- the first $10 goes back to God.

Tithing is an act of worship. We're giving to God. We're saying, "All of it came from you anyway." God says, "Put me first in your life and watch what I do." You may think you can't afford to tithe, but the reality is, you can't afford not to tithe.

Learn More About a Biblical Approach to Your Budget.  Your finances are important to God.  Managing Our Finances God’s Way,

Know R-E-S-P-E-C-T 

by Eddie & Alice Smith    
 
The secret to winning a woman's heart is found  in the pages of God's Word.

Years ago a couple came to us for marriage counseling who were on the verge of divorce. Why? Because the husband continually failed to lower the toilet seat!

Thankfully, we can report that they are happily married today. Generally speaking, however, men really don't understand women. But why?

God created men and women with diversity. He gave them both a need and a desire for one another. But He wired them biologically and psychologically differently. Your failure to understand this will create continual tension and frustration in your relationships.

1 Corinthians 7:3 says, "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband" (NIV). It is a husband's job to learn God's expectation for him and understand his wife's needs.

In the process, he earns her respect. And just what does a woman respect?

1. A woman respects a man with a sense of humor. 
In poll after poll, when asked what they want most in a man, women answer, "A good personality and sense of humor." A woman loves a man who can laugh--and make her  laugh. She is impressed with a man who sees the cup as half full, rather than  half empty (see Phil. 4:8). 

Trusting When You’ve Been Violated
 by Chris Stump
 
I never thought I would need to accept this reality.  Nor did I think I’d come to a place to admit to myself and others that this happened.  I never thought of embracing the fact that what happened to me at ten years old had a colossal impact on how I perceived the world around me, my relationships, and how I interacted with others.  I never thought I’d utter these most pungent words — “I’m a sexual abuse survivor”.

I never felt shame as an abuse victim, mainly because I didn’t think I was abused.  I just saw those few instances as mere opportunities for an older guy to provide me what I was already hungry for.  I was just as responsible for what happened as he was, I thought.  It was merely an experience in the past with no
consequences to my soul or well-being.  Having gone through a recovery program I should have known better.