"Honey, what do we tell the kids?" This is a quandary for many. Won't they be shattered if they get to know that their Daddy is gay or bi-sexual?
There are those who will urge you to tell the children come what may, and certainly, if they know and they do not reject you, it is so much easier to live around the house, knowing that you have no worry any longer of being discovered for what you really are.
When children are older, say in their mid or late teens, discovering that their father is gay or bi-sexual can have serious consequences, particularly as they themselves are probably trying to find their own sexuality. They may well be slightly homophobic at that stage - after all, life is still very black and white for some, with no grey areas. They will worry that they may have inherited their father's sexuality - in fact, there is a belief that homosexuality can only be inherited through the female line. You may run the risk of losing your children at that stage, so it may be wise to wait until they are old enough and mature enough to accept that their father does not match Society's stereotypical father.
As always, the choice is yours and what you think to be right at the time. But also listen to your children and try to work out what they might be telling you. Your children are smarter than you give them credit for. Sometimes children know about their dads same sex activity before the mom even suspects or finds out. Many children have kept their parents secret for one reason or another. Some fear that telling will break up their family, as well as others fear that they might be ridiculed if their peers find out. But, don't believe you are fooling your kids, as sometimes they already figure it all out.
Being honest is the very best thing to be. It may be a good idea to tell your kids the truth as soon as you figure it out yourself. You may need to do this with help from a professional counselor or an experienced peer counselor. Get help it you need to, but don't back yourself into a corner where your kids find out and confront you first. You need to be honest but you do not have to give too much information with details. Just enough information for their level of understanding. Enough to make them understand why all the household tension or changes in how mom and dad relate to each other.
Children are very observant. Lying to them will only make matters worse...later. Staying together "because of the kids" won't make them happier either. Kids would rather have two happy parents living apart rather than two miserable parents living under the same roof.
Finally, if you are going to talk to the children, it is recommended that this is something that both parents do together, rather than one parent alone.