If we are to maintain a working relationship in marriage or partnership, there are certain rules that are fundamental. Some of your correspondence revealed where some marriages or relationships have gone wrong, and they are worth thinking about:
Communication and Trust
- Lack of good communication between partners enables imagination to run amok and it is easy to perceive things to be happening which are not happening at all. As a result, trust between the partners which is all important to a successful relationship cannot be maintained, and distrust takes its place.
- Try to maintain good, effective communication between partners at all times, and maintain good trust as a result.
- Answering "Nothing!" to the question "What is happening?" or "What is the matter?" is not a good answer.
Dishonesty can come in different shapes and forms, but the most common forms are:
- Holding back on the truth, embroidering something different
- Denying something is happening when it is happening
- Trying to pass on the blame to someone else
Unfortunately, it seems that over 80% of us, male or female, are capable of lying when we consider that to confess will potentially have disastrous consequences.
Invariably, the truth will out, so why can't we be truthful from the start and save a lot of pain and anger?
Easier said than done, of course!
These relate very much to the values in a relationship and where we want to go with those values. We can only have common objectives between parties to a relationship if communication is good and effective and if trust prevails.
Let us try to set some purpose to our relationship and make it work for us rather than drift along aimlessly? Let us give some thought to these things and see where they might help to improve what is already a very difficult situation.