The down low has hit your church and the deceiver in chief is none other than the pastor. A Pastor who has a stable of down low men at his beck and call to service his needs. Some of their wives know but talking about it, much less doing something about it is out of the question. Pastor's needs must be met. Men will be men. Better yet why talk and mess us the good thing you have going on? You get everything you need even if it means the sister's husbands are taking turns being carnally abused.
Your husband has a nice stable of men who he sometimes hand picks a sister to marry into. Yes, brother so and so and sister so and so getting married. It will be good for the sister as she really needs a husband. Have you thought that she needs a husband who will adore her and enjoy her body since she has be saving herself for a good husband. Do you want her to have a life of no sex, or bad sex just like you?
By the way, the ones who tell their wives are really the honest ones although it’s hard to believe when you’re hearing the truth. It’s the ones that refuse to tell you and accuse you of being crazy who are contemptible. It is going to take time to get past the pain of this.
You need to give yourself the time you need to go through all the stages of mourning and grieving just like you need to mourn for someone who died.
This is the death of a marriage, and in many cases, it is a very ugly death. You need people who will help you grieve and mourn constructively. Choose your support team wisely.