There is nothing more debilitating than to spending your valuable time investigating your husband. I became Miss FBI for a time and that was rewarding while at the same time very draining. Draining in the sense that it took time and effort and rewarding because I got the evidence that I needed. but it was only for a while, as I got rid of him afterwards. I would never spend my time being a perpetual detective and neither should you.
Some people live their lives perpetually being detectives. That is no life. If you want to investigate for a while then gather your evidence and kick him out or leave, that is understandable. Spending the precious years of your life being a super sleuth is time and life wasting. Are you saying that after many years you still have no evidence? What made you begin to look anyway? Even if it was only intuition, you had something.
You obviously are not finding any evidence or why would you stick around to continue obsessing over this? If after years of snooping, you have not found anything that proves that your suspicions were more than your imagination, it’s time to give up.
So, if you think that you have any proof however minute, it is time to confront him. He may go into a rage telling you that you are crazy. But guess what? In his heart he will know that you are right. You don’t have to confront your husband—you just have to know the truth for yourself. That should be enough. And when you do know the truth, then you need to set yourself free, because living with a gay man can never fulfill your expectations of what you want out of life. No way. Ever.