When you find out that you are a straight spouse and really step from behind the denial and accept your situation, you will need solid support. All hell will break lose and that's what happened to Precious. She went looking for help and God directed her right to the source.
The first person she reached out to was Dr. Carolyn Cooper who wrote that wonderful Mother's Day Column in the Jamaican Gleaner: "Straight Spouse at Risk."
The first person she reached out to was Dr. Carolyn Cooper who wrote that wonderful Mother's Day Column in the Jamaican Gleaner: "Straight Spouse at Risk."
All parties involved have given permission to use their emails so others in the
same situation can find a source of comfort and support.
same situation can find a source of comfort and support.
Thank you for column today. I cried for the first time since May 10th.
On May 10th, I celebrated my 44th Birthday….. it was also the day I ‘outed’ disgracefully my on again off again boyfriend of 15 years.
I cried because you put into words what it feels like, to know in the gut that he is on the down low, but his logic, rhyme and reason play down every instinctive intuition I had. I got saddle with a lickie lickie Jamaican man, who disregard gender to achieve lazily his life comforts.
Intuition verses logic, he finally admitted his down low relationship with the ‘boss’ (he drives a car the boss bought for him). I thought then his admission was a burden lifted, but it is far from it. Each day for me is a flash point, a flash back, just dissecting his words, his friends, stains on his pants, trips to the country with his friends etc. Almost consumed with the shame of it, if that makes sense.
On May 10th, I celebrated my 44th Birthday….. it was also the day I ‘outed’ disgracefully my on again off again boyfriend of 15 years.
I cried because you put into words what it feels like, to know in the gut that he is on the down low, but his logic, rhyme and reason play down every instinctive intuition I had. I got saddle with a lickie lickie Jamaican man, who disregard gender to achieve lazily his life comforts.
Intuition verses logic, he finally admitted his down low relationship with the ‘boss’ (he drives a car the boss bought for him). I thought then his admission was a burden lifted, but it is far from it. Each day for me is a flash point, a flash back, just dissecting his words, his friends, stains on his pants, trips to the country with his friends etc. Almost consumed with the shame of it, if that makes sense.
Having half our friends believing and the other half saying a lie she a tell, dem man deh a galis…..yu nuh see a who him a _ _ _ _ now. Cramp into a scandal of my own making, I didn’t find the time to cry and just accept that I’m not unique or alone…..mostly that I am not responsible for this man unacceptable action to his straight spouse.
I searched the internet for ‘down low men’ and even wanted to start a blog. For now I am going to just take one day at a time. Work on/ restore my self-esteem and sincerely look forward to working on me.
Thanks again Dr. Cooper.
Precious.
I searched the internet for ‘down low men’ and even wanted to start a blog. For now I am going to just take one day at a time. Work on/ restore my self-esteem and sincerely look forward to working on me.
Thanks again Dr. Cooper.
Precious.
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