Bonnie Kaye and her radio guest Maggie discuss tips to help straight spouses endure the holidays.
How to Reduce, prevent, and Cope with Stress
It may seem that there’s nothing you can do about stress. The bills won’t stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day, and your career and family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress management. Managing stress is all about taking charge: of your thoughts, emotions, schedule, and the way you deal with problems.
Identify the sources of stress in your life
Darlene King is an HIV survivor from Philadelphia. She grew up in a loving environment where God was always first and caring for others was a natural second. The love and support she continually receives from her family strengthens and guides her life’s work daily. The pain of all she has experienced has been poured onto the pages of her book.
Bonnie Kaye had a guest on her Straight Wives show and she was awesome. Even though her husband wasn't gay, he was horrible always cheating on her with other women without using protection. Here is more information about her from when she was on Bonnie’s book Co-op show (Bonnie has a 2nd show every Sunday at 10pm):
Here is some information about Darlene.
If you think that your children don'd know what is happening to you...THINK AGAIN!
Sometimes we hear others talk about information that affects us in profound ways. Sometimes we get incomplete info or we get totally inaccurate information. It is good when we can read the information for ourselves. This way we do not have to rely on second hand info that can get very distorted.
For more in-depth information on the positive effects of health reform, watch the videos or download the PDF reports. View State By State Benefits
Dr. Garth Graham from Office of Minority Health
Info For African Americans & Other African Minority Groups
Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis
Spanish Language Video
Read More About Health Reform Relief for all Americans: Get the facts for yourself.
Special info of note: When is a penalty not really a penalty? Obamacare has a special provision regarding the mandate: Those who would have earned a penalty won’t necessarily pay, as there is provision that the IRS cannot enforce the collection of any funds. Funny…the mandate is just words to satisfy the insurance companies. Without enforcement, no one will pay a penalty…Obama really cares.
Straight Spouse Awareness & Community Advocacy
South Florida Connects (SFC) provides straight spouse awareness expertise to the South Florida Community and beyond. SFC provides information to distressed men and women who find themselves unknowingly in a relationship with a secretly gay person. SFC specializes in straight spouse peer support for information, education, validation and affirmation. Debbie, the SFC CEO, was recently interviewed on radio WAVS 1170am, a popular Caribbean- American station in South Florida. Below is a transcript from the radio interview.
1. Who is a straight spouse?
You are a straight spouse if you are a heterosexual person who is, or was in a relationship, is married to, separated or divorced from someone who is LGBT, (lesbian, gay, bi-sexual or transgender.) Transgender may include but is not limited to transsexuals, cross-dressers, or individuals who have had a sex change. Some people are straight spouses by choice, but most straight spouses unknowingly dated or married someone who is secretly gay.
2. Why are you interested in helping straight spouses?
2-1-1 Broward can help you find help for critical social services such as emergency financial assistance, food, shelter, housing, child care, job training placement, relief from abuse, depression, summer/after school programs, healthcare or mental support, health care, senior services, legal aid and much more.
Immigrant Straight Spouses Have Some Unique Problems
There is a certain stigma associated with straight spouses in the immigrant community. Immigrants tend to fear what they do not understand. Straight spouses can loose their status and be avoided if it is perceived that they in some way made their husbands gay. Crazily Impossible, but it is truly how some straight spouses are treated. In the Afro-Caribbean diaspora communities in the USA, Interviews with straight spouses demonstrated that straight spouse-related stigma usually manifests as social distance, physical distance, inappropriate words and silence.
The psychological consequences of being a straight spouse, for those identified or admitted to being straight spouses, can range from emotional pain, sadness, loneliness, anger, frustration, to internalized stigma. The social consequences usually cause decreased social network size, limited social support and social isolation, and resulted from not only enacted stigma but also self-imposed social withdrawal.
Being a straight spouse is not merely a condition that impacts the physical health of those affected. It is a condition that has major social and psychological implications that are rooted in perceptions about what it means to have a gay spouse. Being gay in certain immigrant communities is, in fact, a highly stigmatized situation because it is often thought to be highly contrary to religious beliefs often held in very high regard by immigrants.
Having a gay spouse can be very severe, and can result in irresponsible volitional behavior considered by many to be norm-violating as homosexuality and male same sex promiscuity are frowned upon in many immigrant circles.
Coming to America may have created many problems for some minority and immigrant straight spouses. Some come from countries used to particular traditions and a culture which is economically, politically and socially, literally oceans apart. The culture shock alone sometimes is just as difficult as anything else they may have to face.
If a partner or spouse has been incarcerated in their country of origin or the US it creates a problem for the family economically as well as socially. This is when some women begin to fear becoming straight spouses, because of the high incidence of MSM in prisons and the fact that this behavior sometimes continues after release.
Here are some of the situations immigrant straight spouses may find themselves in:
Lack of insurance or knowledge of the insurance system is a known hurdle for immigrant women. This makes it difficult for some to access proper healthcare for proper screenings for